Why is this site called “turtlekiss.com?”
I originally started this site in 2003 to raise awareness for a turtle rescue and expose the awful truth about the pet trade.
It’s gradually evolved into a hub with multiple functions – it’s the photo host for my auctions, a showcase of my creations, Koopa’s art archive, and one of the internet’s most thorough compilations of educational, informative, and fun turtle links.
Even though this site is very much about my art I still want to provide plenty of resources for anyone in search of turtle-related information.
I’m also cursed with a name that gets spelled wrong constantly, so I figured “turtlekiss” would be much easier to remember.
I use the TurtleKiss handle on Facebook, WordPress, YouTube, Xbox Live, and PS3.
My eBay ID is slightly different – TurtleKissDesigns. And yes, I know that some turtles carry and transmit salmonella. Koopa apparently does not, because I’ve kissed his beak countless times.
Do you offer commissioned work?
Absolutely! I’d love to create personalized artwork for you, based on your color preferences and the size of your wall space.
I’m not willing to destroy my reputation as a professional artist because you understandably want topless photos of me.
If you’re having trouble finding nude photos on the internet, you may need to disable the parental controls on your computer.
What makes your breast paintings so special?I’m the first internet-based artist to treat breast painting as a fine art instead of a novelty, fetish, fundraiser, or publicity scheme.
All of my paintings are archived, documented, preserved to last & highly collectible.
Please consider the importance of supporting artists with original ideas, words, and concepts – having your intellectual property stolen is not fun!
Do you offer Layaway?
Absolutely! Layaway is available on all paintings with a sale price of $100 or more – this includes commissions.
Layaway is a purchase plan designed for clients who want to buy merchandise without using a credit or paying the full price immediately.
The merchandise is shipped once the total amount is paid in full.
My layaway plan is pretty standard. I will hold your artwork for a maximum of 60 DAYS, by which time it should be paid in full. There’s no penalty for completing your layaway plan early.
An initial non-refundable 25% downpayment is required within 3 days after the purchase date. Your order may be canceled if you cannot make the first payment on time.
All subsequent payments can be made in as many installments as you want, anytime within the next 60 days.
I may be willing to extend the length of the plan on higher-priced merchandise – just ask!
the fine print:
If a payment hasn’t been made for 30 days, a cordial reminder email will be sent to the buyer.
If the balance hasn’t been paid off in full by the due date, a deadline notice will be sent to the buyer.
If the remaining balance is not received within 5 days from the deadline notice, the layaway purchase will become void.
The non-refundable downpayment of 25% of the purchase amount will be forfeited.
All payments made (minus the non-refundable downpayment) will be refunded back to the buyer within 72 hours. The same applies to canceled layaway plans
What are your payment options?
PayPal (credit card, checking account or e-Check)
Postal Money Orders (US) & International Money Orders
What do I need to do to buy & put an item on layaway?
First, please email me with the item number/title, and let me know you’re interested in an installment plan.
If we both agree to the terms, I’ll send you an invoice for the initial payment, which will also include item number/description, the remaining balance, and the due date for payment in full.
The downpayment must be received within 3 days. If no payment is made, I reserve the right to cancel the transaction. Your item will be shipped within 48 business hours after your LAST payment has been processed
How are your paintings shipped?
Stretched & ready to hang with documentation included. Everything larger than an ACEO is sealed in a waterproof bag, then carefully packed with recycled newspaper and cardboard. I ship via USPS Priority Mail to anywhere in the US. ACEOs are shipped First Class for free.
Do you ship internationally?
Yes. Please note that some paintings will be too large to ship overseas so please inquire about shipping costs before bidding. All paintings shipped internationally will travel via USPS Priority Mail International.
What is your return policy?I generally don’t offer refunds on art unless the artwork is somehow misrepresented. I can’t be held responsible if you don’t thoroughly read my description.
Packaging and shipping paintings can get quite expensive, so please ask any questions and view the photos and details carefully before buying or bidding. Most buyers report that the paintings look much nicer in person.
Can I use one of your paintings on my web page?
Sure, but please link back and let me know. I might give your site a thank-you plug on my blog.
How long will it take for me to get my order?Auction/store items will be shipped from Connecticut within 72 hours of purchase. It will usually take anywhere from 2-7 business days to receive your order within the US. Books and gift items purchased through retailers supported on this site (such as Amazon) will have their own shipping estimates.
Which charities do you support?I regularly donate my art to fundraisers sponsored by various registered 401(k) charities.
These paintings make great raffle or silent auction prizes! If you have an event coming up, I’d be happy to consider providing an artwork donation.
I require a minimum of 4 months’ notice (more is better,) and my monthly painting donation limit is currently set at 2 – first come, first served. It obviously needs to be a cause I support, so it might help you to know that I’m an anti-war, omnivorous, libertarian atheist, and a Red Sox/Mariners fan.
I won’t support any political, government, military, church or NY Yankee-related cause. I and Koopa are proud to have been able to donate over $12,000 to turtle rescue.
I also support breast cancer research, equal rights, autism awareness, domestic violence prevention, public-funded animal shelters, mental health, the rebuilding of New Orleans, and the CT Children’s Medical Center.
What kind of turtle is Koopa?
He’s a gulf coast box turtle, the largest of the American box turtles.
Is painting safe for Koopa?
Koopa safely created 827 original paintings over the course of his 5-year career. I have never put Koopa in a dangerous situation. I’m a well-informed, educated turtle owner and I’m certain that Koopa was never subject to any harm or stress while painting.
Koopa is fully trusting of me & he’s been acclimated to being rinsed off in the shower. Precautions were taken to make sure he didn’t prolapse in the paint. I consulted Koopa’s vet. I researched paint via MSDS (Material Safety Data Sheets) and verified that individual ingredients were non-toxic & US-made.
I spot-tested each color of every brand for a reaction, and did months of dry runs before actually using any paint. Prior to that, I raised Koopa in a completely tank-free environment & gave him years of special attention/eye contact to the point where we developed a very special and unique relationship. Watch the video below if you are skeptical – there is nothing about the process that I have ever had second thoughts about.
I won’t help you paint with your turtle or offer related advice under any circumstances. What was safe for Koopa is not safe for your turtle, especially if you don’t do the necessary research and take the time to develop a trusting relationship. The actions of a frightened turtle could easily lead to respiratory infections, blindness, and even death. I strongly urge you not to take that risk.